I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
