We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
