He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
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