You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
