respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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