Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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