Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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