we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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