you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
