If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize