i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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