I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
