I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
