she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
