wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Is Oprah even human
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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