look no pants
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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