This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
