you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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