Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
She's like a pop up book from hell.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize