I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
