Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize