once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
