I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
