you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
