I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
