I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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