He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
