going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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