Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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