I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
