I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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