You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
