At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
