too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
