No stitches, just platelets and will power
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
