that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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