That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I smell like Dick and happiness
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
