Your tits are I can't wait for
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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