That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
they call him Oral-B. enough said
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
