I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
