If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
