he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
