she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
