lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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