I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize