i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
