jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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