i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
