she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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