Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Randomize