the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
