you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
