Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize