got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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