do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
