After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
